Saturday, December 10, 2011

My goal in life: Not get arrested.

If I never end up in jail, I win.

Every day I wake up and remind myself, "Let's not go to jail today."

And every night I come home and say, "Good job self, another day, no jail."

Then I pat myself on the back, and give myself a cookie.

I'm all about the rewards system, you should try it.

The other day my mother was talking with her hair stylist who said,
"You're kids have grown to become such wonderful adults."

I'm surprised my mom didn't laugh and say, "Are we talking about the same kids?"

Later, my younger brother assured my mom, "Hey, none of us are in jail, so obviously we're winning."

Aren't we though? It's some hard work staying out of the slammer.

I'm impressed.


  1. this just made my morning perfection. fin.

  2. DO work in a job that gives you an inside scoop on how to AVOID said jail....

    Although, you know if you get arrested and I'm on the jury that your a$$ is in the slammer for good! Right?

    Just sayin'....


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