Tuesday, March 15, 2011

the woes of online shopping

Sometimes things just don't work out.

and by "work out" I mean don't fit over my apparently enormous calves.

yep, you guessed it, I bought the boots, but the boots gave me the finger.

pirate hooker? not a good look, my friends.

Unfolded I looked like a fat hooker,

and folded down I looked like a fat pirate.

neither of which were looks I was going for.

If they had been heels I think I could have gotten away with them, but since they fit so snugly I couldn't pull them up enough, which made them bunch up in the most unflattering way around my ankles.


I decided to show them to Dan, while he was playing video games *facepalm*

this is how it went down...

me: dude, these are terrible, I look like a pirate hooker.

Dan: *eyes pealed on the TV* so you're saying you don't like them?

me: i'm saying they look terrible. look!

*folds them up and down*

Dan: hey, could you do that again?

*catch him checking out my cleavage*

me: you are terrible, I'm sending them back.

It's always a gamble not being able to try things on.

Like the green plaid shirt dress I thought would be SO cute from Old Navy.

No, it's the fugliest dress I've ever owned.

And will remain owning, because I was too lazy to send it back.

You win this time, Old Navy.


The real question is, should I still go for the Steve Madden boots?

What if they are amazing and I end up missing out on some kickass boots?

(This is my mind, it's scary in there.)

....decisions, decisions.


  1. Bummer. Boots like that don't fit on me either. I think you should try again. Especially if you can send them back if they don't work. :)

  2. I have a hard time finding boots that fit me. Silly big calves.

    Also, I think the fact that your hubby was checkin' you out is simply adorable. That's what I want on a daily basis.

  3. hahahaha, Men! Those boots are too hard for me to pull off. I have fat calves. LOL.

    Write it in Lipstick

  4. Haha! Fat hooker boots sound disappointing! This is why I'm terrified of buying clothing online.

    Btw, cool blog!


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