Are my friends getting old?
The answer is yes.
Because, I'm still sixteen ...okay maybe seventeen.
I have had my license for almost a year now. <---truth.
(fine physically I am 24 but mentally I am still 16.)
I even have the infamous hold-your-cameraphone-above-your-head-and-look-up-while-standing-in-the-bathroom-emo-myspaceyourface picture on my profile. I may or may not be wearing an Edward Cullen tshirt in said photo.
I'm still posing like an emo, while everyone else on FB is either pregnant or has just given birth like ten seconds ago (according to their status update).
To be honest...
It's starting to confuse me.
How am I supposed to know who's "totally bored at work" or who's "going to the beach" when my live feed looks like I've been friend requesting newborn babies?
I don't think those babies are taking themselves down to the beach for a crawl in the sand, nor are they at the office hanging out in highchairs with their Blackberries.
I can't tell any of you apart.
I know what you are saying,
"Their names are right next to their pictures, duh."
You think I read? Ha!
I don't. I'm not even typing this, I have a chimpanzee who transcribes everything for me.
I look at the pictures, thats what they're there for. duh.
But no, now I gotta pay extra close attention to see who's baby bump that is.
Why you gotta make my life harder?
My chimpanzee types 100 words per minute, but it can't use a mouse for sh*t.
I'm sorry your adorably scrunchy faced baby doesn't look enough like you for me to know its you.
Don't get me wrong, I want to look at your child's pictures. I will look at every last one of them, and then not comment. Cause, I am that person.
My point is: I'm not friends with your kids, I'm friends with you.
And maybe someday I'll meet your kidlet before it goes to college. But I'm not promising anything.