Saturday, January 30, 2010

Death by Aerobics...

I went to the gym on Monday.

Just on Monday.

I mean, I don't want to seem like an overachiever or anything.

Not only did I go to the gym, but I went to a class.
A class where you spend an hour watching someone really skinny bounce up and down and tell you what to do.

Yea, that kind...the worst kind.
The thing I hate the most about taking any type of exercise class is that I don't want to give up. Even when my lungs are burning and my face looks like a tomato, and I'm sweating so much that I look like a drown rat. I don't want to stop, because I'm not the only one there. I don't want to be embarrassed, and if these other women can do it, so can I.

I mean, I am 23 years old, I am young and spry. Right?

Wrong.

These women kicked my trash so hard. And I did stop, multiple times. Because, I decided that passing out or puking during Step Aerobics would be much more embarrassing than just taking a breather.
Trust me. Puking after a workout is no bueno. Although it may help me lose weight faster...I might have to reevaluate my workout technique.

And you know what, Exercise balls are heavy! I know, right! They are filled with air for crying out loud. But when you've been working out non stop for 45 minutes and then you have to hold this huge ball in front of you while you do a little "grapevine" dance back and forth...that shizz gets heavy!

Never have I so badly wanted to be on an elliptical machine in my life! Oh sweet kind wonderful elliptical. I miss you and your non-threatening difficulty levels, and your cup holder that I use for my ipod that doesn't have the dance mix of Mamma Mia playing. Seriously, how can I stay motivated if some rapper isn't telling me to "shake my ass"?

The answer is: I cannot.

I hate the gym. But where else am I going to work out? At home? Outside?

Definitely not outside...its like a billion degrees below zero outside...people that exercise outside in the winter are suicidal. The end.

Home is the worst place to work out for several reasons but two stand out in my mind....

1. My computer is at home, so there's no way I'm going to look at my computer and then look at my workout dvd's and say, "Oh I think I'll jump around in the living room and get all sweaty, when I could be sitting on the comfy couch with my laptop and cheetos."

and

2. My husband and our roommate are always home. I'm definitely not going to bounce around and get all sweaty in the living room with an audience. No thank you!


I will conquer the gym if its the last thing I do....which it will be, cause I'm pretty sure the gym is gonna kill me.